Created by Magical Gnomes!


Frequently asked (stupid) questions

Do you have a question?! I have an answer!

Q: How do I get these cool TI-86/TI-89 programs to work on my calculator?
A: Use google. If that's really too hard for you, check out's Linking page. TI-Connect(tm) is also probably of interest.
Q: When I open up some of the TI-XX programs with my favorite text editor it shows a bunch of weird characters. Help!
A: That's because those files don't contain ASCII characters. Get a TI-Graph Link cable!
Q: Are you a perpetual or career student?
A: The short answer is "no." I finished my Ph.D. in May of 2013 (proof). The long answer is: it depends on what you mean by "student." I am always learning new things through experimentation and observation (and a lot of reading). In that sense, I will always be a student at heart. I am not, at this time, officially enrolled as a student anywhere.
Q: What is "TEH FOAM"?!
A: It's everywhere. And it's going to destroy the space program.
Q: Are you still in marching band?
A: Define "marching band."
Q: What is the Purdue tunnel system like?
A: They've got motion sensors down there. You shouldn't go down there. Give me a call if you want to...
Q: If a grad student falls while skiing and no one is around, what noise, if any, does he make?
A: That involves quantum mechanics and a lot of mathematics. I could explain, but it would take too long and you probably wouldn't get it anyway ;-) Suffice to say, it begins by assuming that said grad student is a perfect sphere.
Q: I want to plagiarise part or all of your website content. Is this a good idea?
A: Not's what happened to the last person:
Dear Mr. Flowers,
        You requested that I email you regarding one of your students and his
potential plagiarism of material written by two friends and myself.
        First I should probably explain how I was able to track you and your
student down. A few weeks ago I noticed that images were being requested
directly from my site,, from another site. By analyzing my
webserver logs I was able to determine that the site was***********************/abomb.html at which point I
was able to locate your name on***********************/frame.html in addition to
Raymond *********'s. Again by analyzing the log files I noted that someone
from had visited the site. This IP address is listed in the database as belonging to "Rocklin Unified School District
(NETBLK-PBI-CUSTNET-2865) PBI-CUSTNET-2865". At this point I was able to use to locate your district's website and a contact number where I
left a message with one of the secretaries regarding this matter.
        As you will notice by visiting your student's site, I have taken the
liberty to modify the images that are located on my server to reflect the fact
that what he did was wrong and that the work is actually mine. The original
project, which was done for my AP US History course as a Junior in High
School, can be viewed at As I'm sure
you'll notice fairly quickly, each section was taken word-for-word from my
site and used on your student's.
        I appreciate your promptness in responding to my message, and hope
that you will keep me informed as to how and when the issue has been resolved.
I would also like to request that you inform the student that he may keep all
of that content on his site under the condition that he gives us due credit,
instead of claiming the work as his own. Thank you.

Jeff Turkstra
"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense---never for attack." --Yoda

Thank you for taking the time to deal with this issue.  As educator's
the internet is a great resource, but it is also being abused by a
number of students.  If is almost impossible to track everything, so
once again thank you for your help in this matter.  I will deal with the
student immediately.  marty flowers

Jeff- I just wanted to let you know that I have contacted the
administration and the students parents.  The student did not take
responsibility for what he had done so I am going to give him the most
serve punishment that I can for a first time offender.  He will have to
re-do the entire assignment for "0" points, he will serve four hours of
detention and he will be writing you a letter of apology for his
actions.  Due to the fact that this is the first time he has been
caught, according to the school discipline policy, this is the extent of
what I can do.  Hopefully this will satisfy you and this will never
happen again.  Please let me know when you receive your letter of
apology.  Thanks again, marty flowers

Mr. Flowers,
        I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to respond to your previous email,
I've been rather busy this past week or so. As it stands, I have yet to
receive a letter of apology from the student. In addition, the student has not
removed the plagiarized content, nor has he given us credit for doing the
work. That is my primary concern here. If at all possible, I'd appreciate you
attempting to get the student to either remove the content, or acknowledge
that he obtained the content from another source. Thank you again for the
effort you've put into helping resolve this matter.

Jeff Turkstra
"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense---never for attack." --Yoda

Raymond is having a meeting with the Principal this week. His parents
will be attending the meeting, but scheduling a time has been
difficult.  You should receive something later this week,  M. Flowers

                         I first would like to say im sorry for misusing the
information you provided to the world.  I have modified my site so when you go
to view the plagiarized area it has a link to your site.  I have been
surprised that the punishment was harsher than crime, But a wrong is a wrong
there is never a in-between.  I have realized the wrong and I have fixed the
problem all i need now is forgiveness . ~~Raymond_*********~~


Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

Dear Mr. Flowers,
        I'm writing to inform you that I have recently received your student's
letter of apology and that he also has removed the plagiarized content from
his site, instead providing a link to the actual information as I requested. I
would like to thank you for all the effort you've gone through to help resolve
this problem and how helpful you've been in communicating to the student my
feelings regarding this matter. If you have any other questions or would like
to discuss the matter further, don't hesitate to email me. Again, thank you
for your help and swiftness regarding this unfortunate event.

Jeff Turkstra
"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense---never for attack." --Yoda

Dear Mr. *********,
        Thank you for your apology. The only thing that disturbs me is your
opinion that the punishment is harsher than the crime. I would have to
disagree with you on that point. The work that you plagiarized was a school
project that took both myself and my two partners a great deal of time to put
together. You simply copy and pasted it verbatim without what I would consider
any work at all.
        Additionally, you'll come to realize rather rapidly that plagiarism is
far more serious than you'd like to believe. If you ever attend a university
of higher learning, such as college, and decide to plagiarize work there and
they find out about it, you would in all likelihood be permanently suspended
from attending that university. You'd also find it extremely difficult to find
another college that would accept you after such an event. Even if you decide
not to pursue your education past a secondary institution and instead enter
the work force immediately, the same thing applies. Employers have very little
tolerance for plagiarism; very few people actually do.
        As it stands, I feel the punishment is quite fitting. You get to
remain in school, which is something you would not have been able to do in
many other situations, while still being punished enough where (I hope) you
realize that what you've done is completely unacceptable. My main objective in
reporting your plagiarism was two-fold: first, I wanted to ensure that my work
received due credit. Second, I wanted the individual who plagiarized my work
to be punished, and taught that plagiarism is something completely
unacceptable in any situation. I think the objective was accomplished well,
and I do certainly hope you've learned a valuable lesson through this entire

Jeff Turkstra
"A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense---never for attack." --Yoda
Q: Do you have an unhealthy obsession with gnomes?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you ever going to graduate?
A: You should know better than to ask questions like that.
Q: Were those pictures of your ferret drinking beer? Because if they were, that's so mean.
A: No. The cans were empty. And if they weren't, it's up to the ferret to decide if that's mean. Most things like beer.
Q: Jeff Turkstra is an ass. I have legitimate questions regarding programs for my TI-89 and his FAQ page just rambles on about nonsense and how he stuck it to some poor high school kid for borrowing some info from the internet to pass a class that we all know will mean jack shit to his life and career. Plagiarize this Jeff..."You're a tool." - Jeff Reinert from wisconsin
A: I wasn't aware that I was required to adequately answer your specific, unknown question on my FAQ page. I'll be sure to do that in the future... Additionally, the kid that I "stuck it to" wasn't even in high school - I'd guess middle school or possibly even grade school. And, to be clear, I didn't "stick" anything to him - his teacher and school administration did. I just wanted him to properly credit the authors of the text he copied. But then again, you would have known that had you actually read and understood the email excerpts. Finally, I don't think the statement "you're a tool" can actually *be* plagiarized. But hey, I'm not a lawyer. I could be wrong.
Q: d00d, i t0tally h4t3 j00!
A: Chickens! Dancing chickens! Watch 'em go.
(shamelessly stolen from fredorafaq)